Ah rants . . .

Watching Brad play Resident Evil 6 Demo:

Fairly: At least his hair looks good.

Brad: His hair looks horrible!

Fairly: What are you talking about? His hair looks amazing!

Brad: No, look . . . adjusts camera . . . see the shadows? It’s horrible!

Fairly: Whatever, you aren’t a girl, you have no idea what you’re talking about!

[Brad: Leon’s hair was fabulous! (as it was in Resi4!) It was the shadowing that sucked :P]

———————

Brad: Why am I even here? Look, she’s killing everyone for me. I’ll just stand here.

Fairly: You’re just supposed to stare at her. That’s the entire point.

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Sometimes I wonder just how entertaining the conversations Brad and I have are while either I’m watching him play a game or we’re both playing . . . or he’s making me play while he watches. I have a tendency to be pretty vocal while playing. Anyway, onto the point of this post. While Brad was playing Resident Evil 6 the subject came up of the whole losing control and pushing a button when the screen tells you to. There’s a name for it, I forgot it, Brad will remind me once he reads over this post.

Anyway, in the Resident Evil 6 demo they do this with the car. You don’t actually DRIVE the car. The makers of Resident Evil 6 decided to give you the unique experience of being a backseat driver where you merely yell at how stupid the Leon is being and how you should be driving the car. I’d like to think that maybe that was it, I’d even like to think that they implement Leon turning around and pointing a gun at the screen while growling that if you don’t shut up the Game Over screen is going to come up and eat you. However, that’s not the case.

There seems to be a strange correlation between the prettier a game is the less the makers of it like to give you control.

NO NO! It’s PRETTY! Just sit back and gaze at our amazing graphics. Watch how the Leon you are NOT controlling hits that flesh eating monster just so. Now see how the water runs down the windHIT B HIT B WHY ARENT YOU HITTING B?!?!?!

I think Resident Evil 5 was the first game I ever played where I had to do that. Except I think it was the Z button. I remember asking Brad why in the heck that was the case. Brad mumbled something under his breath about the industry and I wondered why the boss fight was just one giant cut scene.

It’s basically turning video games into a giant paint by numbers set. Except with the paint by numbers set you have the option of using a different color without risking the death of your painting.

I’m not sure if it’s just a bunch of people who grew up with videogames and then decided that there was no way the next generation of gamers was as good as them or if it’s just because there is a CEO saying “Make it easier! Don’t let them get frustrated! Put a sign THERE telling them where to go!”

Back in the day a sign just basically told you what buttons did what and then threw you to the wolves. The jump button didn’t always work, a combination would go awry, well to lessen the risk of that we’ll only give you one button option and we’ll even tell you when to press it.

STOP IT! Just STOP IT!

I mean my gosh the entire point of a videogames is to give you an adrenaline push, something similar to what athletes might feel without the risk of pulling a muscle. I’m sure soccer would be extremely entertaining if there was a guy on the sidelines who would pause all the players for a split second so you could kick the ball straight into the goal. Sure it might be cool for a little while, but it’s definitely not as satisfactory.

So what if I get frustrated with a game and throw my hands in the air, giving up. I’ll come back. Stop feeling like if I don’t beat your game that means your game is an utter failure. Maybe it just means I’m a loser. OKAY? You know what happens when your game is almost unbeatable?

They become legend…

Seriously though, way back in the day there were games that were impossible to beat. It didn’t stop people from buying them because maybe just maybe they would be the person to beat the game.

Maybe that’s the issue nowadays. People just want a game they can beat. The game doesn’t have to necessarily be good, they just want to beat it. And in the laziest way possible.

I’m waiting for the game that basically just involves pressing A or B at the right time through the WHOLE game. It’s basically an interactive movie. Where you just press one button. Hm.

ETA: Would anyone be interested in a first impression of Borderlands 2?